官方消息：爱丽丝的兔子 出现在我的浴室

　　钢铁猪狗血翻译：

　　今天早上发生了一件奇怪的事情- -！当我坐在花园里的时候，有只拿着怀表兔子来调戏我。我问他你搞毛？兔子告诉我他在进行一个紧迫的任务，问我要不要跟他去一个洞里- -，我摸了摸自己的菊花的，拒绝了他，他颇有深意的看了我一眼，然后走开了。

　　我看着他蹦蹦跳跳地跑开了，我想出的唯一合理的做法就是留在原地。毕竟，每个人都知道，跟不认识的兔子去一个你完全不知道认识的洞里实在是太扯了。我决定让自己清醒一下，喝了点葡萄酒又泼了点冷水在自己的脸上。我觉得好多了，直到我发现一只巨大的兔子出现在我浴室的镜子里。

　　这个故事的寓意是，事情并不像它看上去那样。有时白兔是白色兔子，但是他们往往也是巨大的，燃烧泰迪熊打扮成兔子。所以有兔子叫你去暴菊的话，跟小的那只走，不然来大的你就首部鸟了。

　　原文如下：

　　A most peculiar thing happened to me today. While I was sitting in my garden indulging in a bottle of Shiraz and having a look at my copy of Don Juan, I spied a white rabbit in a waistcoat inspecting his pocket watch. Pondering this, I came to the immediate (and admittedly justified) conclusion that I must have overindulged. My suspicions were totally confirmed when the rabbit proceeded to exclaim at how late he was for a most pressing appointment.

　　As my befuddled rodent friend scampered off, I devised that the only reasonable thing to do was to stay put. After all, everyone knows that following a questionable white bunny only results in falling into a deep hole or an excursion to an inner city goth club filled with hackers in leather pants. Instead I decided that the operate response would be to rouse myself from my contemplative, wine-related haze by splashing some cold water on my face. Upon doing so, I felt revived and ready to face the day… that is until I spotted the enormous bear grinning back at me through the bathroom looking glass.

　　The moral of the story is that things are not always what they seem. Sometimes white rabbits are white rabbits, but oftentimes they are also giant, burning teddy bears dressed up as rabbits. There's really no way of knowing until you happen upon one in the mirror while you're trying to wake yourself up.